Insecurity pops up but should not be a stumbling block to having a wonderful sex life and relationship. In fact, if you talk to most women about the insecurities with which they struggle during sex, there’s a good chance you’ll get more than an earful from both genders. While both genders have their struggles, women, even more so, deal with insecurities. In a society that dictates how a woman should look, smell, and act, it’s hard not to have our brains overloaded with apprehension, fear, and anxiety. But of all the insecurities, there are some that are far more common than others.
Between fashion magazines and every other commercial offering weight loss plans, being insecure about one’s body is definitely the biggest hang-up for women in bed. Even when they’re not in bed, many women struggle with body image as it is, so toss in lack of clothes and that insecurity can triple. It may be normal to feel uncomfortable in their own skin, but women really shouldn’t be. Women, all of them, need to realize that the difference in size and shape is what makes us all individuals – and who doesn’t want to be an original?
Bed skills insecurities.
Whether it’s how to perform oral sex or how to get on top and grind in a way that truly satisfies their partner, women tend to suffer from performance anxiety, but they shouldn’t. If you go into any situation where you are prepares to have sex with your partner, the confidence you carry with you will vibrate across the room and wrap your partner up in that belief, too. At that point, there won’t be any need for performance anxiety or nervousness, because you know you got this.
Body smells insecurities.
We live in a society where the penis is treated like royalty and the vagina is treated like a red-headed stepchild, as the saying goes. Because of this, women struggle to love their vagina and accept a scientific fact of life: Vaginas smell. But you know what? If someone is into you, that smell is going to be good! It’s going to be great! And, yes, they’re going to want to put their face in there and lap it up with their tongue! That reason alone is why women shouldn’t worry about the smell or taste of their body, especially their vagina.
Insecurity about having an orgasm
Sadly, the orgasm gap (the difference in the number of orgasms between men and women) is alive and well. What this means is that men still have more orgasms than women, because it’s just easier for them to climax. Since that’s the case, some women struggle with trying to orgasm and, in turn, become insecure about it. The thing is if a woman lets these thoughts permeate her brain, not only will she lessen her chances of having an orgasm even more, but the anxiety of it all will just take away from the moment. Women, oh, my fellow women, you do not need to feel insecure about your ability to orgasm at some sort of record speed or at all! A genuinely giving partner, the type of partner we all deserve and should have, will gladly give you 100 percent and all the time in the world to see that you have an orgasm. This is a guarantee.
Insecurity about bodily functions
Although it’s not exactly pretty, sometimes people fart during sex. Other times, people get their period during sex and suddenly it looks like you and your partner have rolled around in ketchup on the bed. And, if you’re into anal sex, you’re looking at whole other region of bodily functions – these things happen and while they do make a woman feel insecure, they shouldn’t. Why? Because to fart is human, to menstruate is to be a woman, to get poop on your partner’s penis during anal is just what happens. You can call it gross if you want, but being human and having bodily functions isn’t gross at all. It’s called being alive.
Causes of body imaging issues in women
Women are affected by body-image insecurities. Women’s bodies are under constant scrutiny by the media, the diet and fitness industry, advertisers, social media outlets, peers, and the self. Through different avenues, every day, women are sent messages about their bodies. It seems that a woman’s body can never be just right.
The media tells women that cellulite is condemnable and that only a fat-free body is acceptable. In reality, even thin, active women have cellulite. The images presented in magazines, advertisements, and other forms of media have been digitally enhanced, airbrushed, and altered in order to give the illusion of perfection. The purpose of these images (especially when it comes to advertisement) is to make women feel deficient, so they will want to buy enhancement products. In this way, women are programmed by the media to have an altered sense of body image. 5
In addition to weight concerns, women often worry about breast size as a measure of attractiveness. There is no current evidence that suggests that individuals base any form of physical attractiveness on the perceived breast size of a woman.5 Breast size for women is another way for the surgical modification and the lingerie industry to profit off of the insecurities of women.
Body-Image Issues and Sex
Sometimes body image can affect people’s sex lives. Thinking about one’s own body during sex can negatively affect one’s performance. Females often focus on their breast size, vaginal appearance, and body shape during sex. Focusing on these things during sex is called spectatoring, and it can decrease arousal which can lead to painful sex due to a lack of lubrication. The Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute cites that women who have poor body image are more likely to refrain from initiating sex as often as women who do not have poor body-image issues. The internal monologue in females’ minds can cause sex to be a source of extreme anxiety.
Overcoming these insecurities
- Create a positive relationship with food
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Pick up a healthy activity that you enjoy
- Compile a list of everything that you love about yourself
- Avoid measuring your self-worth on your physical appearance
- Surround yourself with positivity
- Treat your body well
- Seek help when you need it
- Talk with your partner about your concerns