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Sexual shenanigans: who does it better, male or female?

Being bold, ‘dirty talks’, ‘being naughty’. There are a lot of terms are used to describe ways to spice a sexual activity or become kinky. Being sexually dominated, having sex with multiple people at once, watching someone undress without their knowledge. These are just a few of the totally normal sexual fantasies uncovered by recent research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The overarching take away from this survey of about 1,500 Canadian adults is that sexual kink is incredibly common.

While plenty of research has been conducted on sexual fetishes, less is known about the prevalence of particular sexual desires that don’t rise to the level of pathological, that is, don’t harm others or interfere with normal life functioning and aren’t a requisite for getting off.

Reasons why people become kinky

When it comes to explaining the how and why of sexual desire, there are few answers more reassuring than “because it’s in our DNA”, or “because we’re wired that way”. From why men love boobs to why both partners start wanting to scratch other sexual itches after seven years, a plausible-sounding biological explanation for our sexual predilections is always welcomed – apart from, of course, when it comes to BDSM.

Most general medical discourse about kink focuses on unpicking early childhood trauma, emotional disturbance or abuse. Psychological arousal is not, however, just about physical stimulation, and physical reactions don’t confine themselves to psychologically comfortable circumstances. But when it comes to consensual kink, we could greatly benefit from more focus on the physical.

So to the question, who does it more, none of the sexes does it more. Each of the sexes has a unique sex drive and that is subject to their reason for involving in sexual activity. Some do it for the pleasure, others, to propagate their genes. Whatever your reason, make sure you have memorable sex when you do. Here are some suggestions for men who be in charge and give their partners a memorable experience.

  • Extend foreplay (by a lot)
  • Learn how to control your ejaculations by practicing becoming multi-orgasmic
  • Do at least 1-2 high intensity exercise sessions per week
  • Make noise during sex
  • Don’t eat right before sex
  • Go pee at least 20 minutes before sex
  • Eat a diet with minimal processed foods to ensure your body is in top working order
  • Use your words, create magic
  • Stop watching so much porn
  • Avoid her genitals for as long as possible during foreplay
  • Wear deodorant and cologne that she loves
  • Just kiss sometimes
  • Lavish praise on the parts of her body that she has yet to fully accept
  • Do the laundry, tidy the area, and set up your bedroom for better sex
  • Go sex toy shopping together
  • Have an occasional date night at a nice hotel
  • Have sex in new rooms and situations in your house
  • Discover your kinkier side
  • Go on a vacation somewhere warm together
  • Take an oral sex class together
  • Schedule a “Spoiling Session”
  • Gift her with a sensual massage
  • Earn more money. It increases the level of dopamine and testosterone in your body, but don’t stress yourself out while doing that.
  • Engage in extended self-pleasuring
  • Figure out what your ideal sex life looks like
  • Discuss what your ideal sex life looks like with your partner
  • Do the swirl technique
  • Practice the 9-5 technique in order to build your sexual stamina
  • Become so comfortable with your body that you feel good doing a ‘dudeoir’ photo shoot, and give the photos to your partner as a surprise
  • Practice being more vocal during sex
  • Stretch more often
  • Boost your testosterone levels through lifestyle shifts by quality sleep, eating vegetables and doing heavy workout
  • Boost your testosterone levels through these strange, fringe-y techniques
    1. Cold showers
    2. Intermittent fasting
  • Red light therapy
  • Add to your bedside tool kit: here are a few suggestions to get you started:
  • Help her lean into her ability to have G-spot orgasms
  • Explicitly discuss your sexual fantasies with your partner
  • Write an extended love letter to your partner about all of the things you love about your sex life with them
  • Engage in intimate touch more often throughout the day
  • Have morning sex
  • Become a master of going down on her
  • Engage sexually with your partner every day for a month
  • Stop drinking alcohol
  • Develop your emotional presence in bed
  • Let go of genital focused, performance based sex
  • Improve erectile function by trying out the GainsWave method
  • Go the extra mile, give your partner more of what they already want in sex
  • Take your personal hygiene seriously
  • Take food and supplements that increase your libido
  • Practice semen retention. Do not give in to have too many orgasms by masturbation or other means
  • Proactively work through your sexual fears, blocks, and limitations

 

Sources

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/english/hollywood/news/10-Ways-to-be-naughty-in-bed/articleshow/2221837.cms

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/feb/14/science-bdsm-kink-biology-psychology-fifty-shades

https://reason.com/2014/11/11/kinky-sex-survey-finds-everybodys-weird/

https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/50-powerful-sex-tips-for-men/

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