Home / Sex Education / What is love and is it synonymous with sexual intercourse?
Opinion | Sex Education

What is love and is it synonymous with sexual intercourse?

Love is involuntary.  Brain science tells us it’s a drive like thirst.  It’s a craving for a specific person.  Love, like thirst, will make you do strange things. It’s a natural addiction and treating it like an addiction can help you. We were built to fall in love. The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the gods.”  Modern psychologists define it as it the strong desire for emotional union with another person.  But what, actually, is love.  It means so many different things to different people. Songwriters have described it, “Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.” Shakespeare said, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see.”  Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

What is love?

The two scenarios that usually cause us to contemplate “What is love?” give meaning to the question. Either we wonder, “Am I loved?” or we ask, “Do I love?” It is easier to first address the “What is love?” question in terms of the love we feel coming toward us. If we understand how to recognize when we are being loved, we can also learn to recognize our love for another. When we are loved, we tend to feel it intuitively in our guts. But how does it work? Is there an extrasensory perception in the heart that is able to read the feelings in another person’s heart?

In fact, it’s really not that ethereal or supernatural. On the contrary, it’s pretty practical and down-to-earth. Our hearts take cues from our senses. Everything we see, hear, taste, touch or smell teaches us about our universe. We don’t need to contemplate or ask questions. Our sensory organs report to our brains, and our brains interpret the data and send the report to our hearts. So, if we see a loving smile, hear loving words, or feel a loving touch, the brain processes this information and concludes, “Hey, we are being loved right now!”

Now, to address the second part of the “What is love” quandary, we have to ask, how to know if we love someone else? The answer is straightforward. When we behave lovingly towards someone, it means we love that person. When we ask a question like “What is love?” we assume that we’re trying to define an abstract concept similar to “What is freedom?” or “What is good fortune?” But truthfully, love is not a concept. It’s an action. To ask, “What is love?” is like asking, “What is running?” or “What is swimming?” If you’ve ever seen someone run or swim, you know exactly what running and swimming entail.

Love and sex: same or not

Love and sex are two different things. However, there are very different opinions in society about how they connect. Some believe that the two are almost interchangeable. They assume that if sex is present, then love is as well. This can lead down some very rough roads. Others believe that the two aren’t connected at all. They believe that you can easily have one without the other without any lasting effects. However, there are many reasons why love and sex go together, including the following:

  • Love and Sexual Desire Come from The Same Place
  • Love Makes Sex More Fulfilling
  • Love Adds Trust and Comfort to The Mix
  • Sex is More Meaningful with Love
  • People Try Unsuccessfully to Fill the Void of Love with Sex
  • Marriages Without Sex Struggle or Fail
  • Sex in A Loving Relationship Deepens the Feelings of Love

Love and Sex Are Connected

No matter how hard society tries to remove love from the sexual experience, it is impossible to do. Love and sex are connected. You can have sex without being in love, but it does not lead to any positive long-term situations. Instead, sex without love opens up the door for many difficulties and emotional confusion. In the same way, if you are in a long-term romantic relationship, eventually sex comes into play. One without the other will not work for you long-term.

Problems that can arise when you try to disconnect the two

Emotional emptiness: When you are having sex without being in love you will always be looking for more because the sexual experience is not meeting the full need of what you are looking for, even if you don’t realize it at the time. You are left with an empty feeling and believe the only way to fill it is with more sex. In reality, a deeper relationship where love is involved in the solution you are looking for.

Misunderstood experiences: If you believe that love and sex are the same things, and not just connected, you will be led into sexual experiences because you are seeking love and believe you will find it by having sex. This is only setting yourself up to be hurt. Love and sex are connected, but they are not the same. Many people will have sex with you to try to meet their needs, even if they have no feelings of love for you.

You either use people or get used by people – When you are in a loving relationship, you both want the same thing. Your sexual experiences are deepening your relationship and you want to please the other both in and out of bed. However, when love is removed from a sexual experience, it is purely selfish. You are either looking for love or looking to have your sexual needs fulfilled. There is a lack of care about what the other person needs. Your focus is on yourself.

You lose your relationship – It’s hard to maintain a romantic relationship long-term without sex. If you’ve been married for years and think that sex isn’t necessary to your relationship anymore, you are wrong. You might feel this way, but chances are that your spouse doesn’t.

Solutions

Bring back date night. Getting back in touch with your spouse can renew your sex life and your love for one another. Make time for the two of you and your relationship will flourish.

Start a new hobby together. Making new, fun memories together can renew a lost spark. Find something you will both enjoy and dive in.

Communicate. Your partner won’t have a chance to work on the relationship if they don’t know there’s a problem with it. Communicate your issues, big and small, to protect the love and sex in your relationship.

Seek professional help. Troubles that arise in life around love and sex are some of the hardest that there are to work through. Both sex and love are incredibly complex issues that have many variables in play. If you’re struggling with situations in your life because of relationships, talking to a therapist can be one of the most effective ways to work through the situation. While both love and sex are deeply personal experiences, sometimes talking to an outside party that is not connected in any way can be the most effective at helping you see what’s happening.

Before you jump into another meaningless sexual relationship or before you lose your marriage due to lack of sex, seek help. Love and sex are undoubtedly connected. Understanding how they are connected and how that impacts your life is the key to finding the balance you desire.

 

 

Sources

https://theanatomyoflove.com/what-is-love/what-is-love/

https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1577531/jewish/What-Is-Love.htm

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/7-reasons-why-love-and-sex-go-together/

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *