Foreplay has a reputation as a warm-up or leads to sex, the appetizer to the main course which is intercourse. But maybe it’s time we stop thinking about it in such an old-school way. After all, only 30% of women can reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina penetration alone. It’s the moves we typically think of as foreplay clitoral stroking, deep kissing, and oral sex that bring most women to the heights of pleasure.
Things you can do in a foreplay
- French Kissing
Put your tongue to good use!
- Making Out
Foot massage, back massage, neck massage: whichever you prefer, a massage can really get you in the mood. Try incorporating massage oils or a massage candle to add some slickness. After getting out the knots, you can let your hands stray just a little…
- Nipple Play
Nipples can be really sensitive not to mention fun to play with. You can touch, pinch, lick, suck, or gently bite your partner’s nipples (just ask if they’re into biting before you chomp down). Some people can even have a “nipplegasm” from nipple stimulation alone. For the BDSM-inclined, you can also break out the nipple clamps.
- Dirty Talk
Telling your partner how much you want them can heighten both your arousal. Dirty talk can be as simple as “You make me so turned on” or “That feels so good,” or it can be as complicated as spelling out, step-by-step, exactly what you want to do to them.
- Dry Humping
Dry humping isn’t just for teens. Rub your clothed genitals against your partner’s leg, knee, genitals, or anywhere else that feels good. For people with clitorises, this indirect stimulation can be a huge turn-on that can lead to orgasms, and it can feel amazing for people with penises, too.
- Manual Stimulation
- Oral Sex
Like manual stimulation, oral sex is a form of sex — and it can also be used as a form of foreplay before another sex act. However you see oral, use your tongue to tease your partner’s clit, penis head, or anus, and for more fun, get your hands involved, too.
- Get Kinky
Incorporate some kink into your foreplay, such as spanking, tying your partner up (or asking your partner to tie you up), or using a blindfold — prolong the anticipation so that sex is even better when you begin.
Some tips for foreplay
- Get the room ready for sex
- Take your time undressing
- Make the clitoris and g-spot en route places, not your starting points
- Slow it down, build anticipation
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions
- Get out of the bedroom … Or the house
- Get clean, get groomed, and get sexy
- Allow her to take the lead when she wants to
- Kiss her, but kiss her right
- Buy some new toys
- Remember, foreplay starts outside the bedroom
- Write her a [dirty] love letter
- Use your magic fingers for a sensual massage
- Practice self-exploration and controlling ejaculation alone
- Talk a little, but don’t talk too much
- Talk about your sexual fantasies involving her
- Build a foreplay tool kit
- Do your research
- Give her more of what she wants
- Play around with a little BDSM
- Learn when to forego the foreplay and just go for it
Foreplay for women gets her turned on before you go any further. Unlike men, women aren’t naturally ready for sex as soon as it gets started; their physical arousal is a lot more complicated. As a bonus, good foreplay time for her gets her closer to the goal of an ending in the climax, which means you’ll be less likely to finish first before she’s actually done once sex is initiated. Of course, using a delay spray like Promescent will also be a huge help in that department.