There is a lot of tension these days in relationships. Many of those tensions revolve around sex. People cheat, change partners consistently, move from relationship to relationship. You say women don’t know what they want, others say men are dogs. In some quarters the word on the street is that gay men never stay with a partner. Well, lesbians have their own stories. For others, there are a plethora of complaints. For the most part, there is a search for sexual fulfillment.
This article does not conclude that all relationship failures are a result of sex neither does it encourage promiscuity. It stems from the desire to send a message to sexually active persons on the need to understand sex as a series of acts and art itself. It is not American football or wrestling, it is a form of communication between two persons, who are in love.
A friend went to meet his partner, a male as well. After, about thirty minutes he returned to the house laughing. When he saw the surprise on my face, he told me about the visit. When they settled to have sex, his partner decided to finger his butthole to get him turned on. First, he put saliva, then he put his finger and started poking. According to my friend, it was pleasurable until his partner made it faster and started to turn and twist his finger inside his butthole. He endured for a while but in the long run, refused to continue. He stood and left.
So, you want to have sex with someone and you have the person in your arms, on your bed. There is a lot of emotions going flying around; you are moaning and your partner is moaning. You want to feel the sensation to the fullest and you want more and more.
Some tips for foreplay
There are certain things you should put at the back of your mind in the midst of all the foreplay and fun. They are
- Be careful with the internal part of the body.
- When rubbing or stroking, do it gently. It could lead to tears.
- Stop and consider from time to time if your partner is enjoying what you are doing or not.
- Make foreplay more fun. Don’t have a fixed ritual for foreplay. Some persons have a fixed set of acts for foreplay. Well, you might be giving your partner an excuse to cheat on you.
- Pain is real and some people don’t like to have pain. Stroking and fingering could be fun but painful too. Use lube when doing either of them and do it gently.
- Ask your partner if they are comfortable or ask them how they like it.
Parts of the body where injury can occur during sex
- The anus
- The penis: during fellatio or mutual masturbation
- There are a host of others, but these are the most notable places.
Injuries happen and they happen often. Injury in a sensitive part of the body, the genital, for example, is not only uncomfortable but potentially dangerous. The genital region is usually hairy and wet and a good site for bacteria growth. Usually, these bacteria would not be harmful but would turn dangerous when they gain entrance into the body causing infections. These kinds of infections are called opportunistic infections because they happen when the bacteria which live on the body and do not pose any threat there would become dangerous when it enters the body.
There are limits to the amount of pain a person can take. It is different for women and men. Women can take pain better than men can and even at that it is different from person to person. When you are fingering the ass (be it that of a man or a woman), do it careful carefully. Do it slowly, and with a lot of lubrication. The ass hole which is the end of the anal canal and called the rectum is surrounded by a wall of soft tissue that can get damaged easily by the fingernails of whatever finger you are using. When it tears, the passing stool becomes painful, because the pushing of the poop out requires some stretching and pulling of the muscles of the anal wall could widen the already created wound.
Kissing is an art, take time to learn it. It is sad that so people mistake kissing for mouth acrobatics and saliva dripping. It is not! It is possible to kiss without the saliva and all. Just know the art. When it is done well, you and your partner will go back for more and more of it.
The bottom line…
Communicate with your partner, find out what they want, how they like to be shown, love. Tell them to teach you how they would have you do it. In another case, learn from them. Ask a lot of questions, you never know what you will find out.
Learn. You are never too young or old to learn. Don’t feel that you know how to satisfy anyone. Some like sex rough, others like it slow. Learn.